The "R" Word

Thirty-five Korean students sit still in a quiet room. I've greeted the class, said my "hello's" and the students focus on getting their dose of English for the day. My co-teacher begins teaching the students the four seasons. On goes the TV, and a little movie clip plays. A little Asian girl asks, "Do you like summer?" A little black boy replies, "No! It's too hot!"

This sounds like a great introduction. And I thought I missed something when all of the students started laughing, and I, poor naive Kyle, stood dumbfounded in front of the room. The co-teacher looks at me, and says to the students, "What is so funny?" The students, still laughing, respond in Korean. She then says, in English, "What is funny about him?" They respond in Korean. This time my teacher makes a quick glance to me, terrified look on her face, and turns to the students. She then begins a calm lecture, in solid Korean, which lasts for about 3 minutes.

In her little spiel, I hear "mi gook" (America or American), "way gook" (foreign or foreigner), and Kyle San Sang Neim (Kyle Teacher). The students were intensely concentrated on her, but when she said Kyle "teacher" the students (in unison) looked straight at me and looked back at her. The class then returned to its normal 90% English and 10% Korean and began again as if nothing ever happened.

Confused, I asked my co-teacher what happened, as we sat down for lunch. She said the kids were laughing at the black kid, not because of what he said but because he was black. She then continued her explanation by saying that most Koreans are racist especially toward black people and people from Southeast Asia. She asked me if people stare at me when I walk in public. I said, yes. She said that people stare at me because they want to know more about me. When they see white people, they look at their skin, their hair, they really focus on their eyes, and even their height and weight. When they look at white people, she said, they see either their equal or who they want to be. When Koreans look at black people, she said, they focus on the same things...but they are also thinking about the ways that Koreans are better than that person. They see black people as inferior, she said.

I asked her what she told the class. She said she told the class that this black kid is just like any other kid. The only thing different is his skin and where he lives. She said "way gook" when describing that he was a foreigner. She used "mi gook" to explain to students that black people live in America too. But, she used Kyle "san sang neim" to tell the students that I was a different race. She said, to you, Kyle, Asians, black people, and other people who aren't white are all "colored people."

I sat at my table....dumbfounded. I felt naive and stupid to think that racism just doesn't exist anymore. I don't experience racism often, and I wasn't sure how to handle this. And, before I could explain that I don't see people as "colored people" vs "white people," lunch time ended. I never got to really explain what happened. I'm also not sure that my co-teacher would have known the right words in English to understand me.

I've had a few days to think about all of this. I am a white person....there is no denying that (we've all seen me dance :) But, I'm fairly certain I don't walk around targeting "colored people" as different than me. I'm often surrounded by people who are not white. Walking in public by myself, usually makes me  the only white person there. But, even when I'm hanging around my friends, whether they be white, black, Asian, gay, straight, women, men, tall, short, fat, skinny, Christian, non-religious or any combination of the above, I don't focus on our differences. I think this might be a contributing factor to the naivety noted previously.

On the same token, noting and taking pride in the fact that I have friends of every background only exemplifies the fact that as humans, there is a small part of us that takes note of those characteristics different from ourselves. We then use the melting pot of friends that we've obtained as a crutch when bombarded with the hard questions. "Are you racist?" "No...I have 18 black friends and my best friend is a gay Muslim from Zimbabwe who was raised by wolves."

Your friends of color do not become the answer to that question. There is no answer. My response to that question is that there will always be a small percentage of my subconscious that takes note of those around who are different from me. It is up to the rest of me to make sure that because of that difference I don't decide to treat that person any differently because of it.

If you've made it thus far, then bravo. I'm a little long winded....and I have a lot of thoughts about this. :) I hope you don't think that all Koreans are racist after reading this. That simple thought is a simplified generalization about a group of people (stereotype) which is often construed as racist. :) lol Just know that I'm more aware of how Koreans think, now that I know this about them. It doesn't make me think that all Koreans are racist...by any means, nor does it excuse the evidence that I see when walking down the street to people constantly staring at me. If anything, I've arrive at more self realization than anything else, and for that I'm grateful.