Thirty-five Korean students sit still in a quiet room. I've greeted the class, said my "hello's" and the students focus on getting their dose of English for the day. My co-teacher begins teaching the students the four seasons. On goes the TV, and a little movie clip plays. A little Asian girl asks, "Do you like summer?" A little black boy replies, "No! It's too hot!"
This sounds like a great introduction. And I thought I missed something when all of the students started laughing, and I, poor naive Kyle, stood dumbfounded in front of the room. The co-teacher looks at me, and says to the students, "What is so funny?" The students, still laughing, respond in Korean. She then says, in English, "What is funny about him?" They respond in Korean. This time my teacher makes a quick glance to me, terrified look on her face, and turns to the students. She then begins a calm lecture, in solid Korean, which lasts for about 3 minutes.
In her little spiel, I hear "mi gook" (America or American), "way gook" (foreign or foreigner), and Kyle San Sang Neim (Kyle Teacher). The students were intensely concentrated on her, but when she said Kyle "teacher" the students (in unison) looked straight at me and looked back at her. The class then returned to its normal 90% English and 10% Korean and began again as if nothing ever happened.
Confused, I asked my co-teacher what happened, as we sat down for lunch. She said the kids were laughing at the black kid, not because of what he said but because he was black. She then continued her explanation by saying that most Koreans are racist especially toward black people and people from Southeast Asia. She asked me if people stare at me when I walk in public. I said, yes. She said that people stare at me because they want to know more about me. When they see white people, they look at their skin, their hair, they really focus on their eyes, and even their height and weight. When they look at white people, she said, they see either their equal or who they want to be. When Koreans look at black people, she said, they focus on the same things...but they are also thinking about the ways that Koreans are better than that person. They see black people as inferior, she said.
I asked her what she told the class. She said she told the class that this black kid is just like any other kid. The only thing different is his skin and where he lives. She said "way gook" when describing that he was a foreigner. She used "mi gook" to explain to students that black people live in America too. But, she used Kyle "san sang neim" to tell the students that I was a different race. She said, to you, Kyle, Asians, black people, and other people who aren't white are all "colored people."
I sat at my table....dumbfounded. I felt naive and stupid to think that racism just doesn't exist anymore. I don't experience racism often, and I wasn't sure how to handle this. And, before I could explain that I don't see people as "colored people" vs "white people," lunch time ended. I never got to really explain what happened. I'm also not sure that my co-teacher would have known the right words in English to understand me.
I've had a few days to think about all of this. I am a white person....there is no denying that (we've all seen me dance :) But, I'm fairly certain I don't walk around targeting "colored people" as different than me. I'm often surrounded by people who are not white. Walking in public by myself, usually makes me the only white person there. But, even when I'm hanging around my friends, whether they be white, black, Asian, gay, straight, women, men, tall, short, fat, skinny, Christian, non-religious or any combination of the above, I don't focus on our differences. I think this might be a contributing factor to the naivety noted previously.
On the same token, noting and taking pride in the fact that I have friends of every background only exemplifies the fact that as humans, there is a small part of us that takes note of those characteristics different from ourselves. We then use the melting pot of friends that we've obtained as a crutch when bombarded with the hard questions. "Are you racist?" "No...I have 18 black friends and my best friend is a gay Muslim from Zimbabwe who was raised by wolves."
Your friends of color do not become the answer to that question. There is no answer. My response to that question is that there will always be a small percentage of my subconscious that takes note of those around who are different from me. It is up to the rest of me to make sure that because of that difference I don't decide to treat that person any differently because of it.
If you've made it thus far, then bravo. I'm a little long winded....and I have a lot of thoughts about this. :) I hope you don't think that all Koreans are racist after reading this. That simple thought is a simplified generalization about a group of people (stereotype) which is often construed as racist. :) lol Just know that I'm more aware of how Koreans think, now that I know this about them. It doesn't make me think that all Koreans are racist...by any means, nor does it excuse the evidence that I see when walking down the street to people constantly staring at me. If anything, I've arrive at more self realization than anything else, and for that I'm grateful.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Cultural Divergence
Ahh...Korea. You never cease to lift me up and bring me down. This entry is supposed to focus on cultural differences....I think. But, this blog usually ends up in a jumble...so just go with it. :)
"When in Rome...do as the Romans do." Its a trite phrase that becomes twisted to the writer's current situation. "When in China..." "When in Korea..." "When in America..." Yet...I think I'm still going to use it...and I do on a daily basis. I find myself in "culturally awkward" situations and it slips out..."When in Korea..."
I wrote my name on the board in red marker. I also wrote my teacher's name on the board in red marker. Had I been around for the whole orientation, I would have known that writing one's name, or the names of others, in red wishes death upon that person. "When in Korea..."
I yawned in class. One kid asked me if I was tired, and I said "no..." I yawned in front of one of my co-teachers and she told me to never yawn in front of her again or in front of the students. I told my other co-teacher what she said and with a gasp she said, "YOU YAWNED IN FRONT OF HER?" Woops... lol "When in Korea..."
Coffee is a staple of life. My street alone has over 14 coffee shops. I will henceforth affectionately refer to it as Coffee Street. :) My co-teacher asked me if I would like a cup of coffee (in Korean its Coppee lol they don't have an "f" sound in their alphabet) and I said...no thanks. She said, "Do you drink coffee?" And I said, "Of course. I had a cup earlier." She said, "Just one?" I said, "Yes.....How many did you have?" She said, "Oh...I think 5 today." It was about 2 p.m....but "When in Korea..."
Co-teach played a song in class today. It was catchy... I started whistling. :) Co-teacher came and whispered in my ear as I prepared for the next segment of the lesson..."Kyle...don't whistle." I asked her why and she said that Koreans think its rude. hmm...never heard that one...but "When in Korea..."
Take your shoes off in the house and school...but not anywhere else...
Always accept any food or drink from anyone. If you don't like it, pretend you're eating/drinking it.
Koreans are so VAIN! There are mirrors everywhere with a Korean in front of it examining their hair or dabbing a little makeup. Boy...girl...it doesn't matter...you're obsessed with your appearance. I laughed at first...but I find myself looking in those strategically placed mirrors more often then usual..."When in Korea..."
Lastly...and on a sappy note...Koreans are very kind and helpful. They will pick you up when you drop your coffee cup on the bus and fall over trying to pick it up. They will smile and keep your pace while trying to scale a gimonstrous mountain. When trying to give you a haircut, they will tear their salon apart looking for the right magazine with the right hairstyle in it because they can't understand what you want. Total strangers on the street will give you directions or tell you "Eng-ah-lish.....no...soddy" but they will never tell you ...well you know what they might tell you in the States. They will hug you when you're sad. They will hug you when you move into part of their house. If they're students...they will bow to you. :) They will take money out of your wallet when you can't understand what number...and leave the other money right where it is. So..."When in Korea..."
They really are great people. :) I'm glad I get to make all of these cultural mistakes. I get peace of mind knowing that if they came to the US they would make mistakes too. They might cut someone off on the highway, or trust a stranger to take their money, or eat off of a person's plate...someone they just met lol. Cultural difference is exactly that...a difference. One should neither completely conform (so as to retain a part of their own culture) nor should they completely resist (because what fun would it be to offend everyone you meet on a constant basis.) I'm sure I'll make more of these mistakes, but for now...I'm happy to make them and learn not to whistle and yawn so often. :)
"When in Rome...do as the Romans do." Its a trite phrase that becomes twisted to the writer's current situation. "When in China..." "When in Korea..." "When in America..." Yet...I think I'm still going to use it...and I do on a daily basis. I find myself in "culturally awkward" situations and it slips out..."When in Korea..."
I wrote my name on the board in red marker. I also wrote my teacher's name on the board in red marker. Had I been around for the whole orientation, I would have known that writing one's name, or the names of others, in red wishes death upon that person. "When in Korea..."
I yawned in class. One kid asked me if I was tired, and I said "no..." I yawned in front of one of my co-teachers and she told me to never yawn in front of her again or in front of the students. I told my other co-teacher what she said and with a gasp she said, "YOU YAWNED IN FRONT OF HER?" Woops... lol "When in Korea..."
Coffee is a staple of life. My street alone has over 14 coffee shops. I will henceforth affectionately refer to it as Coffee Street. :) My co-teacher asked me if I would like a cup of coffee (in Korean its Coppee lol they don't have an "f" sound in their alphabet) and I said...no thanks. She said, "Do you drink coffee?" And I said, "Of course. I had a cup earlier." She said, "Just one?" I said, "Yes.....How many did you have?" She said, "Oh...I think 5 today." It was about 2 p.m....but "When in Korea..."
Co-teach played a song in class today. It was catchy... I started whistling. :) Co-teacher came and whispered in my ear as I prepared for the next segment of the lesson..."Kyle...don't whistle." I asked her why and she said that Koreans think its rude. hmm...never heard that one...but "When in Korea..."
Take your shoes off in the house and school...but not anywhere else...
Always accept any food or drink from anyone. If you don't like it, pretend you're eating/drinking it.
Koreans are so VAIN! There are mirrors everywhere with a Korean in front of it examining their hair or dabbing a little makeup. Boy...girl...it doesn't matter...you're obsessed with your appearance. I laughed at first...but I find myself looking in those strategically placed mirrors more often then usual..."When in Korea..."
Lastly...and on a sappy note...Koreans are very kind and helpful. They will pick you up when you drop your coffee cup on the bus and fall over trying to pick it up. They will smile and keep your pace while trying to scale a gimonstrous mountain. When trying to give you a haircut, they will tear their salon apart looking for the right magazine with the right hairstyle in it because they can't understand what you want. Total strangers on the street will give you directions or tell you "Eng-ah-lish.....no...soddy" but they will never tell you ...well you know what they might tell you in the States. They will hug you when you're sad. They will hug you when you move into part of their house. If they're students...they will bow to you. :) They will take money out of your wallet when you can't understand what number...and leave the other money right where it is. So..."When in Korea..."
They really are great people. :) I'm glad I get to make all of these cultural mistakes. I get peace of mind knowing that if they came to the US they would make mistakes too. They might cut someone off on the highway, or trust a stranger to take their money, or eat off of a person's plate...someone they just met lol. Cultural difference is exactly that...a difference. One should neither completely conform (so as to retain a part of their own culture) nor should they completely resist (because what fun would it be to offend everyone you meet on a constant basis.) I'm sure I'll make more of these mistakes, but for now...I'm happy to make them and learn not to whistle and yawn so often. :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Super Self Conscious
I walked home from the subway earlier this week and a man walking down the street was harassing another man in Korean. I think he was a little crazy. But, when I walked passed him to get to my house, he started laughing. Then in the best English he could muster he screamed out BIG MAN BIG MAN!! I gave it a chuckle and walked on my way.
This weekend I decided to "go on a hike." To all of the English teachers in Daegu, apparently a "hike" means mountain climbing. I was not aware of this double meaning. A hike where I'm from means taking a stroll in the park, maybe on some woodsy trails...not scaling a mountain! I'm trudging up this mountain, while my little group climbed with ease. I didn't want to slow them down so I let them go ahead while I took a rest. All the while little children, parents, and old people, out for some light exercise, stared at the winded white guy on the sidelines. I found a friend walking down the mountain who wanted to catch the cable car to the top...she decided the rest of the mountain was worse then what we already climbed. We went all the way down to find out the cable car wasn't in service today...ugh. So we left. I filled my failure with some dinner and a tasty waffle...lol.
I met my third graders today....super cute. In one class, a boy just kept staring and staring...which is not really that abnormal. Until...I walked down the rows to check their pronunciation of the day's key expressions. I got to his desk and that's when I followed the boys eyes from his desk in front of him to my knees, my thighs, my waist, my belly, my chest and then his eyes landed on mine. And with complete sincerity and honesty he asked..."Umm...are you a giant?" To which I smiled and gave him a quick "no."
Fast forward to later today. I got off the bus and hopped into "Pitabono" to get a tasty miso chicken pita sandwich....yum yum. A cute old woman spoke in fast Korean and when she saw the "I-have-no-idea-what-you-just-said" face she motioned for me to get a chair. When my turn came, I told the lady behind the counter what I wanted and gave a man some money. Out of nowhere, a man came and asked me in descent English if I would like to come to the opening ceremony tomorrow because this is his wife's new shop. I said...maybe. After some small talk, he gave me a look from head to toe and said you are a very handsome young man...I like your round eyes. :)
These stories are a small compilation in a small amount of time of what it feels like to be different. I've never felt fatter, taller, whiter, and oddly...more handsome then when surrounded by Koreans. They each have their different take on what I look like. Some see my eyes and stare at them. Some see my smile and they smile too. Some see my belly and look away. Some glance from my knees to my face and wonder how I got so tall. :)
And now that I've typed out this jumbled mess of thought, of which I hope you are following without too much trouble...I've come to a certain realization. I can't get shorter. I can't get my eyes to change their shape. I can't change my skin color. But, the one thing I can change involves a lot of gym hours...and there are bound to be a few around my house. I'm thinking that will be my new goal...
This weekend I decided to "go on a hike." To all of the English teachers in Daegu, apparently a "hike" means mountain climbing. I was not aware of this double meaning. A hike where I'm from means taking a stroll in the park, maybe on some woodsy trails...not scaling a mountain! I'm trudging up this mountain, while my little group climbed with ease. I didn't want to slow them down so I let them go ahead while I took a rest. All the while little children, parents, and old people, out for some light exercise, stared at the winded white guy on the sidelines. I found a friend walking down the mountain who wanted to catch the cable car to the top...she decided the rest of the mountain was worse then what we already climbed. We went all the way down to find out the cable car wasn't in service today...ugh. So we left. I filled my failure with some dinner and a tasty waffle...lol.
I met my third graders today....super cute. In one class, a boy just kept staring and staring...which is not really that abnormal. Until...I walked down the rows to check their pronunciation of the day's key expressions. I got to his desk and that's when I followed the boys eyes from his desk in front of him to my knees, my thighs, my waist, my belly, my chest and then his eyes landed on mine. And with complete sincerity and honesty he asked..."Umm...are you a giant?" To which I smiled and gave him a quick "no."
Fast forward to later today. I got off the bus and hopped into "Pitabono" to get a tasty miso chicken pita sandwich....yum yum. A cute old woman spoke in fast Korean and when she saw the "I-have-no-idea-what-you-just-said" face she motioned for me to get a chair. When my turn came, I told the lady behind the counter what I wanted and gave a man some money. Out of nowhere, a man came and asked me in descent English if I would like to come to the opening ceremony tomorrow because this is his wife's new shop. I said...maybe. After some small talk, he gave me a look from head to toe and said you are a very handsome young man...I like your round eyes. :)
These stories are a small compilation in a small amount of time of what it feels like to be different. I've never felt fatter, taller, whiter, and oddly...more handsome then when surrounded by Koreans. They each have their different take on what I look like. Some see my eyes and stare at them. Some see my smile and they smile too. Some see my belly and look away. Some glance from my knees to my face and wonder how I got so tall. :)
And now that I've typed out this jumbled mess of thought, of which I hope you are following without too much trouble...I've come to a certain realization. I can't get shorter. I can't get my eyes to change their shape. I can't change my skin color. But, the one thing I can change involves a lot of gym hours...and there are bound to be a few around my house. I'm thinking that will be my new goal...
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Books, Stares, and Other Realizations
My new weakness...the bookstore. :) I'm such a nerd! Kyobo bookstore is downtown, two subway stops from my apartment. It is four floors of...well...heaven. In this store you can buy a pen with a cute little pig on it, or a notebook with Homer Simpson's face on it, or a watch...just a watch...nothing fancy :), or a paperback version of Wicked which you may start reading one of these weekends, or a Phonics book for that Basic after school class. It has everything...it is my oasis. University students stare at you while thumbing through a bilingual version of English Spoken Conversation. Their eyes are saying..."Doesn't that white kid already know English?" The answer is yes...he's just not sure how to teach it yet. lol English fluency does not, an English teacher make.
In other news, I've become more desensitized to street gawkers. :) Remember that time you strolled through town and all of a sudden you came across someone from India? I remember working at Tanger in Branson and on occasion my store would be instantaneously full of Indians! Red dots, long flowing detailed robes, and what's that I hear? Hindu. And for a split second, you find yourself not taking just a quick glance, but 15 seconds have passed, and you're still processing what you've just seen. This scenario is a good description of a normal day in Korea. Pass by a middle school student and they glance, but usually say, "Hello!" Then they giggle and run. Pass by a university student and they might say just a simple, "Hello" but nothing else. Pass by a little kid and they won't say anything...they just stare...and if you come too close they run to mom because let's face it...the tallest human you've ever seen is a white guy and he's coming right at you!! lol But the worst are the old people. All of the students most likely have a foreign English teacher in their school. But the old people...they were never afforded that luxury. So they stare you down with a look that you swear you can feel...and then they shuffle off to wherever they might be going. So the next time you stare that little Indian guy down because he's chattin' it up with his wife and 15 relatives in the mall...don't stare, a quick glance will suffice. :)
Other realizations
In other news, I've become more desensitized to street gawkers. :) Remember that time you strolled through town and all of a sudden you came across someone from India? I remember working at Tanger in Branson and on occasion my store would be instantaneously full of Indians! Red dots, long flowing detailed robes, and what's that I hear? Hindu. And for a split second, you find yourself not taking just a quick glance, but 15 seconds have passed, and you're still processing what you've just seen. This scenario is a good description of a normal day in Korea. Pass by a middle school student and they glance, but usually say, "Hello!" Then they giggle and run. Pass by a university student and they might say just a simple, "Hello" but nothing else. Pass by a little kid and they won't say anything...they just stare...and if you come too close they run to mom because let's face it...the tallest human you've ever seen is a white guy and he's coming right at you!! lol But the worst are the old people. All of the students most likely have a foreign English teacher in their school. But the old people...they were never afforded that luxury. So they stare you down with a look that you swear you can feel...and then they shuffle off to wherever they might be going. So the next time you stare that little Indian guy down because he's chattin' it up with his wife and 15 relatives in the mall...don't stare, a quick glance will suffice. :)
Other realizations
- Don't fret when you put another 10,000 won on your transportation card. You've used enough money to ride a bus for a month then you would have used to power your car for 2 weeks.
- When air drying your clothes, it becomes unwise to let your laundry pile up for 6 loads...it will just end up making you angry because your chair and doors have become drying racks.
- When your teacher says to meet at her car at 7:40, your natural response might be to show up at 7:35. But in Korea, its best to show up at 7:50, because you will probably wait another 10 minutes after that.
- People will stare at you more when eating in an American restaurant. I don't know why, its just what I've experienced lol
- Patience is a virtue...it doesn't matter that you are out of toner and you've explained this more than once...someone will eventually get on it....I think.
- You take your chances with street food vendors. Sometimes you get a tasty waffle, other times you get a pasty donut full of black bean paste. Just avoid the guy who smokes while cooking his wares...eww.
- Last but not least, take a chance on getting lost. You might end up in a tower, 83 floors off the ground overlooking the city :) The only thing taller than a Korean mountain is a Korean building lol And this building was fortunate enough to be constructed on top of a small mountain. :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The First Post
I figure now is a good time to start this blog...although...I've been in Korea for a couple of weeks now. I met a lot of really great people in Busan during my EPIK orientation. I was late by a few days because of a little malfunction in Denver. So...I stayed in San Francisco for a few days.
Fast forward to last Friday...I made it to my new city in Daegu, South Korea. A town of about 2.5 million. I have been culture shocked for quite a few days now, and I've been waiting to write this blog until now. Friday was the first night that I really started to come around...and then I had a little relapse on Saturday :) But today...today is a new day. A little prayer, a little friend time, and the weirdest thing...a bookstore...have turned me around.
When I'm afraid of change I tend not to embrace...but I hide from that change. So, with the TV on an English channel, muted during Korean commercials, and window closed...I chose to close out the world around me...which unfortunately only left me with...me. And with horrible Internet and computer balanced precariously on one knee...I bummed a wireless signal off an unsuspecting neighbor and poured my heart into Facebook. Bad idea...
I've learned from these recent mistakes. I'm sure there will be regression after this post...but living in the moment tends to be a clichéd although rather effective solution to my current situation...so I choose to relish in the happiness that I'm feeling right now...and when I feel bad later...I will deal with that too.
Onto lighter topics. My kids are little cutties. I would take some pictures, but....I washed my phone lol. So...I will find another way, or buy a camera soon. I am not stressing about the job a whole lot which is always good :) All in all...I think this will be a good 6 months...or year...however long I think I want to stick this out.
I will be posting more often now that I know that all of my posts aren't going to be super negative. For all my facebook buddies...thanks for holding my hand for the past week or so.
Shout out to Mama Hughes...you're the best.
Dr. Kneeshaw and Dr. Frazier...you have reached sage status in my mind :)
Anna, Tabatha, and KK I love you guys...thanks for making me laugh and giving me good advice.
To all of my Titaniacs...I miss you more than you know...
For everyone who has been praying, I can't thank you enough.
Fast forward to last Friday...I made it to my new city in Daegu, South Korea. A town of about 2.5 million. I have been culture shocked for quite a few days now, and I've been waiting to write this blog until now. Friday was the first night that I really started to come around...and then I had a little relapse on Saturday :) But today...today is a new day. A little prayer, a little friend time, and the weirdest thing...a bookstore...have turned me around.
When I'm afraid of change I tend not to embrace...but I hide from that change. So, with the TV on an English channel, muted during Korean commercials, and window closed...I chose to close out the world around me...which unfortunately only left me with...me. And with horrible Internet and computer balanced precariously on one knee...I bummed a wireless signal off an unsuspecting neighbor and poured my heart into Facebook. Bad idea...
I've learned from these recent mistakes. I'm sure there will be regression after this post...but living in the moment tends to be a clichéd although rather effective solution to my current situation...so I choose to relish in the happiness that I'm feeling right now...and when I feel bad later...I will deal with that too.
Onto lighter topics. My kids are little cutties. I would take some pictures, but....I washed my phone lol. So...I will find another way, or buy a camera soon. I am not stressing about the job a whole lot which is always good :) All in all...I think this will be a good 6 months...or year...however long I think I want to stick this out.
I will be posting more often now that I know that all of my posts aren't going to be super negative. For all my facebook buddies...thanks for holding my hand for the past week or so.
Shout out to Mama Hughes...you're the best.
Dr. Kneeshaw and Dr. Frazier...you have reached sage status in my mind :)
Anna, Tabatha, and KK I love you guys...thanks for making me laugh and giving me good advice.
To all of my Titaniacs...I miss you more than you know...
For everyone who has been praying, I can't thank you enough.
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